Homage to D. A., on reaching his 100th birthday. Best read aloud in a breathy but passionate whisper, ideally whilst creeping through the undergrowth.
And so,
here we are on Planet Earth, one of the most beautiful and fascinating
ecosystems in the Universe. I have been visiting this place for over a hundred
years now, and it never ceases to amaze me. The ingenuity of nature on this Planet,
the extraordinary lengths to which its inhabitants go to ensure their survival,
makes this place one of the greatest natural spectacles anywhere. I personally know
of no pleasure deeper than that which comes from contemplating Earth’s natural
world and trying to understand it.
And yet,
this Planet is at a unique stage in its history. Its dominant inhabitants, the Humans,
have moved from being part of nature to being apart from nature. The future of their
survival on Earth depends upon their ability to take action. In their hands now
lies not only their own future but that of all other living creatures with whom
they share the Earth.
In this
series, I have been focussing each week on a different subset of this
fascinating but flawed species. This week, I turn my attention to an example of
one of the most compelling Human subspecies I have ever come across. In many
ways, she sums up all the contradictions of Human nature: the ambition and the
hopelessness, the beauty and the degradation, the possibilities and the waste.
She is, of course … The Anal Fuckslut.
Now, some
of you may be unaware of the significance of this type of Human. Frequently
presenting in public as conventional female members of Human society – nurses,
secretaries, cleaning ladies, schoolteachers – the sluttish aspect to their
nature often only comes to the fore behind closed doors. And so, if we are to
find out more about this reclusive subspecies, we too need to retreat into some
of the most hidden corners of the Human natural habitat.
And so,
come with me, if you will, into this very private of Human spaces: the bedroom.
An unremarkable location in so many ways, and generally concealed from public
view, it nevertheless becomes the setting for so many of Humanity’s most
significant biological and social rituals. And here, on the bed, we have one
fine example – though the fact may not be evident at first – of an Anal
Fuckslut. Admire, if you will, the generous grace of her body shape. The two
large appendages on the upper part of her body are customarily called Tits:
watch how she cups and massages them with her hands; admire how they jiggle and
flow at her touch; notice the pleasure she takes in caressing them. Notice also
how, as her pleasure increases, she is more inclined to tweak the nipples,
gently at first, but gradually with greater and greater force as they engorge
and stiffen. This is a sure sign that this Human is preparing for the ritual which
her species calls Masturbation, which will, in due course, reveal her as a true
Fuckslut.
Sluttishness,
however, is a Human trait which comes in many forms. The anality of this
particular Slut is not yet fully evident: that will become more evident later
in the ritual. For now, though, notice how her right hand creeps down her abdomen
– even as the left continues to knead her Tits. Take a look at this closeup of
the area just at the top of, and between, the Fuckslut’s thighs, an area for
which Humans appear to have coined a wide variety of terminology: different
dialectical strains describe it as “pussy”, “vadge”, “gash”, “slit”, “twat”,
“minge”, “snatch”, even “fuckhole” – a sure sign of the deep significance of
this area for Human biology and social interaction. My favourite Human word,
though, is Cunt – a term of superlative grace and elegance, I think, and which
encapsulates the beauty and dignity of this organ so perfectly.
Human
language, as we have seen in previous episodes, demonstrates a marvellous
tendency to flexibility and creativity. And so it is fair to point out that the
words “slut” and “fuckslut” are only two of many terms which could justifiably
be used to describe this particular type of Human. Others include “whore”, “fuckwhore”, “tramp”,
“bitch”, “slag”, “skank” – a sure sign of the high admiration accorded to this
subspecies by the rest of Humanity.
And now,
notice how the Fuckslut’s fingers have begun to massage that little bud just at
the top of the Cunt. Called the Clit, this area is the focus for much of the
pleasure the Cunt engenders: see how, in response, the Cunt has begun to
moisten. Within a few minutes it is practically dripping – a sure sign that our
Fuckwhore is experiencing the stimulation she has been seeking and so richly
deserves. Another sign of her burgeoning pleasure can be heard in the noises
she is now beginning to make: little moans and groans and squeals, gradually
growing in intensity and volume.
Fuck…
Ah! Now the
Slut has begun to talk. This is a reassuring sign that she is well on her way
to progressing this afternoon’s Masturbation ritual. In previous episodes, I
have explained how Humans communicate among themselves by talking – an
unfortunate necessity, given that they lack the telepathic skills which our own
species takes for granted. However, illogical as it seems, they also frequently
talk to themselves, and nowhere more so than in situations of heightened mental
and physical stimulation such as this one.
Fuck yeaaah…
Notice the
preponderance of this word “fuck” in human speech. It appears to be a term
which Humans use for a massive variety of purposes, and not just to describe
their standard mating practice. As an interjection – which is how our Fuckwhore
is using it now – it can imply a number of emotions, including excitement,
ecstasy, pleasure, anger, frustration, foreboding, wonderment – depending upon
context and pronunciation. As we have already seen with terms such as
“fuckslut” and “fuckwhore”, it can be affixed to any number of other words to
create a wealth of meanings. But it also functions as a verb with a variety of connotations,
which shift according to context; and, when converted into a participle, as an
adjective.
Oh fuckin’ hell, yeah…
See what I
mean? And so, as our Fuckslut’s Masturbation ritual progresses, and her use of “fuck”-talking
ramps up, her fingers are now slipping into her Cunt, sliding deftly in and
out, exploring the hidden depths within, and gradually stretching her Cuntlips wide
so that the gloopy pink flesh of her Fuckhole glistens and gapes.
Oh yeah, fuck that hot cunt, yeah, make me
fuckin’ come…
It would
not be unreasonable for us to presume that the combination of rubbing her Clit
and finger-fucking her Cunt is gradually bringing our Slag to the pinnacle of
masturbatory pleasure which Humans call, confusingly enough, “coming”. For a common
or garden Fuckslut, that would be a reasonable presumption. However, remember
that our specimen is a distinctive subspecies, an Anal Fuckslut – and
that is why you can see now, even as she continues to schlick her Cunt with her
right hand, that her left hand has slipped downwards and is painting some of
her slimy Cuntjuice onto that little brown bud you can see a couple of inches
below. And this is called…
Oh yeah, fuck that arsehole…
Ah! Did you
hear? That is a sure sign that the specimen we are observing is not just any
old Fuckwhore! We would not have known that, had we not followed her into the bedroom,
but now that we do know, let us take a closer look at that organ which our Slut
calls her Arsehole. One of the most remarkable parts of Human anatomy, notice
how it is currently puckered, deceptively tightly shut, with lovely little
rivulets of skin cascading gently downwards to its centre. And, though you
cannot of course appreciate this through your television, it emits an
intoxicatingly warm, rich fragrance which contributes greatly to its allure. Watch
and wonder as our Anal Whore begins to play with it, and continues to speak to
herself:
Oh yeah, gonna stick that fuckin’ finger in me
arse…
And indeed
she does, using the superb lubricative qualities of her Cunt-slime to gently
prise her Hole open! Soon one finger slips softly inwards, then two…
Oh fuck yeah, that’s so fuckin’ good! Oh yeah,
frig that fuckin’ shithole…
Marvel at how
her vocabulary continues to broaden as her pleasure increases, once again
demonstrating considerable self-awareness, as well as mastery of her role as
Anal Fuckwhore. Notice the sheer generous creativity of her mind, and the
flexibility of Human linguistic patterns:
Yeah, love reamin’ me fuckin’ shitter, rammin’
three fingers in and out of me filthy shitcunt – oh yeah, I’m such a dirty
fuckin’ whore!
One of the
most fascinating aspects of life on Planet Earth that I have noticed over the
years is the ease with which the various species here are able to forge
mutualist, even symbiotic relationships with each other. Our Fuckbitch is no
exception, frequently making the most of the physical complementarity between
her own body and a number of those Earth species which Humans call “vegetables”.
Today, she retrieves from under her pillow a fascinating species called a
“Cucumber”. This creature is perfectly shaped to contribute to our Fuckwhore’s
Masturbatory ritual, sliding deep into her lubricated Cunt with ease. Notice
the deft manner in which the Slut uses the physical properties of the Cucumber,
both to fuck deep into her Cunt and, when angled right, to simultaneously grind
against her Clit.
But of
course, she is an Anal Slut, and so it is not long before the Cucumber fulfils
a more ambitious function, which is to stretch her Shithole even wider than her
fingers were able to achieve. Our Fuckslut shows herself to be a true artiste
in this endeavour, turning her Crotch to face the mirror on her bedroom wall,
lifting her legs high as she fucks the Cucumber deeper and deeper into her
Arse, thereby loosening her sphincter so that it gradually approaches that summit
of Human bodily beauty: the Gape.
Oh yeah, stretch that fuckin’ arse wide! Lemme
see deep inside where I shit! Look at that fuckin’ gape! Fuck yeaaah!
Soon, our
Anal Fuckslut is pleasuring herself in multiple ways at once. One thumb rubs
her Clit furiously while three fingers of the same hand curl deep into her Cunt
– and the other hand rams the Cucumber in and out of her ever-widening
Arsehole. As she comes, her vocabulary reaches even greater heights of
sublimity:
Gonna come, gonna fuckin’ come with that fucker
up me fuckin’ shitchute, oh yeah, rubbin’ me fuckin’ clit, frigging me cunt, oh
yeah, oh shit, oh fuck, oh Jesus, oh my fuckin’ Gawd … FUUUUUUUUUCK!
What a
remarkable performance! Such grace, such enthusiasm, such spirit, such a deft
use of language to convey not just meaning but emotion, purpose, intent. We can
only admire the brilliance of her use of speech, so closely tied to, and so
indicative of, the physical and emotional progress of her Masturbatory ritual.
But of
course, even as our Fuckwhore comes down from her first climax, noisily farting
her slimy pungent vegetable out of her Arse, she is ambitious for more. One Cucumber-induced
assgasm, which might under normal circumstances be regarded as quite sufficient
for most Humans, will not suffice for a Fuckslut, and certainly not one of the
Anal variety. She scrabbles for that primitive communication device which
Humans call a “mobile phone”, types some digits in with her slimy stinking
fingers, and pants:
Oh babe, come home now, will ya? I’ve just had this
great big fuckin’ cuke up me arsehole – but I’m still so fuckin’ horny, babe. I
need a real cock in me now. I’m rubbin’ me clit finkin’ about you. Please come home
and fuck me! Please, I fuckin’ need it! I need yer big dick up me fuckin’ arse!
During the ten
minutes it takes for her interlocutor to drive home, the Fuckwhore continues to
enjoy her Cucumber-symbiosis, gently stimulating both Cunt and Arse in an
ongoing ritual dance, so that they remain both lubricated and gaping, ready for
the arrival of her mate. When he arrives, the organ which he calls his Cock is
already erect and throbbing with anticipation, its head glistening with a
little dribble of pre-cum. She opens her legs wide, her Cuntlips spread,
flaring, gleaming, and her Arsehole winking, alternating between its habitual
tightly-shut pucker and the wide Gape into which her vegetable-fucking has
coaxed it.
Which hole first, babe?
she asks,
with a cheeky grin on her face. He says nothing, but lunges, his rock-hard
Cockhead nudging briefly against the rim of her Arse before powering its way
deep into her Shithole and commencing a frantic, brutal arsefuck. She screams
with pleasure, as she rubs her Clit hard with one hand and kneads and tweaks her
huge Tits with the other.
Motherfuck, that feels so fuckin’ good, babe!
Fuck my arse, go on, fuck that filthy arse with that big dick! Split me in two,
ya filthy stud, make me fuckin’ scream as ya squirt yer fuckin’ cum deep in me
shithole. Go on, babe, fill me up with yer fuckin’ cream!
Now both
her hands are pawing at her Pussy – one frantically rubbing her swollen Clit, four
fingers of the other curling deep into her Cunt to rub her G-Spot. He groans as
he feels his Cock stiffen further, feels his cum rise through his shaft, feels
it twitch and jerk. Brutally, almost violently, he rams his Cock as deep in her
Shithole as he can, stretching her sphincter wide, his balls slapping against
her fleshy buttocks, before emptying his man-load deep, deep inside. She feels
his Cock explode, feels stripe after hot stripe of cum paint her insides white.
One last flick of her fingers on her Clit, and she is coming too, again, as she
screams:
OH YEAH! FUCKIN’ COMING, BABE, YEAAAAAAH!
Within a
few minutes, they are both coming down from the heights of their ecstasy. His
Cock slips, now flaccid, gently out of her Arsehole, following by another soft
fart and a rivulet of creamy white cum which dribbles out of her now-gaping
Hole onto the duvet. She reaches down and scoops a small gloopy handful from
her Rim, lifting it to her soft red lips and slurping happily.
Oh yeah babe, I love yer cum, love tasting yer
fuckin’ cum outta me arse…
He smiles
and kisses her gently on the cheek.
Love ya, babe…
she smiles.
I love you too, darling,
he croons,
as he holds her tight and their bodies rock together in post-coital bliss. Soon
they slip together into happy satisfied repose…
And so, it
is time for us too to retire from this scene, having had a – dare I say it – privileged
glimpse into the life of one of the most fascinating and loveliest subspecies
of the Human race.
We only
know a tiny proportion about the complexity of Planet Earth. As we have seen in
this episode, there are always new things to find out about Humans if you go
looking for them. And yet, Humans live in the shadow of a disaster which is
being brought about by the very things that allow them to live such comfortable
and pleasurable lives. Our Anal Fuckslut and her mate are facing, therefore, an
existential crisis – one which, I suspect, affects their behaviour
subconsciously more than they are perhaps aware. The future of Humanity and,
indeed, all life on earth, now depends on them and others of their generation.
Will they rise to that challenge and tackle head-on, with the same creativity
and determination we have seen them evince today, the problems which face their
Planet?
Or will
they just fuck Arse and hope for the best?
Join me in
the next episode, as I delve into the secret life of another fascinating
subspecies of the Human race: The Masturbating Nun.
All
previous episodes, including “The Wet-and-Messy Camwhore”, “The Bubblegum
Fetish Slut”, and “The Lonely Cyberfucker”, are available now on BBC iPlayer.
Please
ensure you have a valid TV License.
(c) GrushaVashnadze 2026. All rights reserved.
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